| Continued... | | | | The first and most important step in any |
| | | | conflict situation is to consider and |
| Toxic Rhetoric Leads to Poisoned | | | | understand where the other side is coming |
| Communication Climate | | | | from. That consideration has to be stated as |
| | | | clearly and sincerely as possible. Your |
| A leader's inability to choose an appropriate | | | | opponents, particularly in a potentially |
| communication strategy in a conflict | | | | explosive situation, have to understand that |
| situation can have disastrous consequences, | | | | you are genuinely interested in considering |
| as witnessed by the French riots. | | | | the issues from their perspective. This will |
| | | | aid you tremendously in calming emotions and |
| Instead of using language that could calm | | | | focusing on resolving conflicting goals when |
| heated attitudes and discourage further | | | | communicating during a crisis. |
| violence, Nicolas Sarcozy chose to declare | | | | |
| war on the young rioters and challenged them | | | | Our Communication Options in Conflict |
| anew by announcing, "I will fight them in the | | | | Situations |
| back alleys of the suburbs!" To no big | | | | |
| surprise, the rioting teenagers accepted the | | | | Whenever we are faced with a crisis, it is |
| challenge and increased their attacks on | | | | important that we remember that we have |
| suburbia with Sarcozy's rhetoric providing | | | | options in the way we respond to the |
| the fuel of hatred and desperation. | | | | situation. Here are some of the more |
| | | | productive strategies you can use in place of |
| What lesson can business leaders learn from | | | | the ones that tend to escalate a conflict |
| the French Interior Ministers communication | | | | rather than contribute to resolving it: |
| strategy? | | | | |
| | | | - Instead of resorting to personal attacks |
| Irreversible Damage | | | | and insults, focus on making the issues the |
| | | | center of discussion. |
| All communication, whether intentional or | | | | |
| unintentional, is irreversible. We often wish | | | | - Instead of trying to make your point with |
| that we could take something back we've said, | | | | emotionally laden rhetoric in an already |
| and rephrase or rethink our language. But | | | | emotionally heated climate, argue with reason |
| that is of course impossible. While | | | | and rational thought, sticking to facts and |
| retractions, apologies and explanations serve | | | | telling the truth. |
| as attempts to "smooth things over", once a | | | | |
| damaging or toxic remark has been uttered, it | | | | - Instead of focusing on winning your |
| has already hit its target without any chance | | | | argument at any cost, offer ideas on how both |
| of being recovered. The impression is | | | | sides can collaborate to find solutions to |
| created, the message received. Such is the | | | | contentious issues. |
| power of words. Hence the value of the old | | | | |
| saying, "think before you speak." | | | | - Instead of pressuring your opposition, work |
| | | | to persuade them with logic and simple |
| While most of us do not carry the burden of | | | | language. |
| running a country, important communication | | | | |
| lessons can be extracted from the leaders | | | | - Instead of pushing the other side into a |
| that are directly involved in France's | | | | corner with no way out, give them an |
| unrest. | | | | opportunity to change their position without |
| | | | losing face. |
| Lessons in Conflict | | | | |
| | | | - Instead of "digging in your heels" when you |
| Conflict is a part of life, as it represents | | | | argue your point of view, leave open the |
| a struggle to have one's needs and goals met. | | | | possibility of genuinely considering an |
| This is instinctive for most humans and | | | | alternative, mutually acceptable, solution. |
| whenever we face a barrier in our quest to | | | | |
| have our needs met, we have certain options. | | | | - Instead of thinking and speaking in |
| Submit to the circumstances and suffer | | | | limitations, adopt an attitude of possibility |
| silently; speak up, assert ourselves and | | | | and collaborative creativity. |
| argue for our position; or take action to | | | | |
| change our situation and fight for what we | | | | - Instead of refusing to listen to your |
| believe in. | | | | opposition's arguments, show sincere interest |
| | | | and appreciation for their point of view by |
| The worst strategy in any conflict situation | | | | active listening and asking clarifying |
| is to insult your opponents, tell them they | | | | questions. |
| are wrong and promise to squash them. To try | | | | |
| and press a lid onto a boiling pot of water | | | | Mind Your Language |
| brings about predictable results every time. | | | | |
| It's the same with communication during | | | | Leaders are always on record. Interior |
| conflict. | | | | Minister Sarcozy may become painfully aware |
| | | | of this fact, as his counterproductive |
| Rather than applying counter-pressure, smart | | | | rhetoric during the riots may come back to |
| leaders seek to release tension and | | | | haunt him during his effort to replace |
| de-escalate conflict by adopting a | | | | Jacques Chirac as President of France. |
| collaborative communication style, focusing | | | | |
| on facts while diverting the focus from often | | | | As arrogant leadership rhetoric is an |
| heightened emotions. | | | | unfortunate but pervasive trait suffered by |
| | | | employees and citizens the world over, it is |
| In the case of the French riots, Interior | | | | a universal liability leaders of |
| Minister Sarcozy should have immediately | | | | organizations and countries everywhere must |
| addressed the rioting youths by acknowledging | | | | guard against. |
| their frustrations and letting them know that | | | | |
| he understands their pain and struggles. | | | | Particularly in a conflict situation, people |
| | | | look to leaders for answers. They look for |
| Further, instead of publicly insulting the | | | | direction, optimism, hope and comfort in the |
| protesters and labeling them as "scum", he | | | | leader's words. Thus, when a leader |
| could have avoided an increase in rioting, by | | | | contributes to escalating a conflict with |
| clearly and demonstratively communicating his | | | | careless rhetoric rather than resolve it, his |
| commitment to promptly launch an | | | | credibility suffers and people's faith in his |
| investigation into the deaths of the two | | | | leadership may be irreversibly damaged. |
| immigrant teenagers that sparked the rioting. | | | | |
| | | | To avoid such a fate in my own communication |
| A conciliatory next step in his conflict | | | | with others, I always think of my dear |
| communication could have been to address the | | | | Mother's words from childhood: |
| need to evaluate housing, unemployment and | | | | |
| infrastructure in impoverished suburban | | | | "Watch your language, young man." |
| neighborhoods throughout the country. | | | | |
| | | | And I do. |